Something Has To Change

Life is indeed very mysterious. One moment you would just be contented with what you have, and the next, you would be yearning for something that you don't even know what. At least that is the case with me. For the longest time, i have just been wallowing in the sea of uncertainty. I was not aware actually where my life would lead me, and for the most part, i had just been satisfied with that. I took things in a way that could be likened to a person who is happy-go-lucky, without giving much regard to the consequences that action would cost me in the future. I would just go on and do something without thinking how it would affect me in the future. Such care-free soul I have, and not in a good way.

What has got me to think about this is the fact that I would be turning a year older next month and yet, I haven't accomplished anything yet. People of my age should already have built a career and a nice nest set aside that would be able to sustain him should he wish to take a breather or two in his life.

Well, I certainly did that, the part where the taking of breather is concerned. I did just that. Given that I was no longer happy with my job in the bank, I should have taken into consideration that I don't have savings that I could use for my sabbatical. Instead, I just went on with my plan to rest for a while but the reality is, I was actually running away from my responsibility my job has poised on me. The reality is, I was just afraid and too lazy to handle such responsibility. Blame it to laziness really. Pure laziness.

I did not even think that I would be unfair to my parents becuase they have to take care of me again now that I am back to square one. Just is the case right now. I am so back to zero. I still even have to pay back my mom the amount I squandered in Dubai. I am that stupid and lazy, and now I realize that something has to change if I want to turn my life around.

On how I would do that, I still don't know yet. I still have a long way to go, and I would ceratainly need all the help I could get to be able to turn my life to the better.

What I am actually thinking right now is to start with a plan. I need to plan my life so as to have a better sense of how I look at it and what the future would look like. I realize now, that it is what is lacking in my life. I don't plan at all. I just go through life, day in and day out, without putting a set of goals that should have been my guide as I traverse this journey.

This is it....

Time to hatch a plan...

This is the beginning.

Of a new ME....